Description
“There’s only one thing I hate more than lying: Skim milk. Which is water that’s lying about being milk.” – Ron Swanson, “Parks & Recreation”
Listen, we could do the obvious thing here, which is deliver a whole bunch of “Got Milk” puns, but trust us – there will be plenty of those delivered to you once you’re wearing this costume. Instead, we’d like to use the thinly-veiled quote above as an opportunity to talk a little more about a great American Hero: Ron Swanson.
Are you aware that Ron Swanson loathed skim milk so much that he included it on his Pyramid of Greatness twice? Listened in Category 5 was “Skim Milk. Avoid it”. Then, again, in Category 7, it comes up again: “Skim milk: That’s right. It’s on here twice. Avoid it.” And it’s been our experience that Ron Swanson, a frank, deliberate man, is rarely wrong about anything.
But listen: You don’t have to worry about that! It’s obvious, from first glace at this Adult Milk Costume, that you’re whole, pasteurized, chock-full-of-Vitamin-D milk all the way, baby! Maaaaybe 2%, if you’re fancy. Lactose-free, if you’re feeling crazy and/if you’ve got a medical thing. The point is, in this thigh-length pullover tunic, people are gonna drink. you. IN! Wear it with a white shirt and pants for extra creamy goodness. You could even pair it with a cow costume or another food item for a fun and creative couples theme, or just wear it on your own when you’re ready to get “dairy” crazy up in this barn party!
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